Jigsaw is back and this time he kidnaps all the writers from every single saw movie and make them play crazy lethal games, with the deeper meaning of showing them how stupid and ridiculous the franchise is… Let’s see… first off we’ll add 10 new puzzles very creative and defying the laws of physics and common sense and that will have only onr outcome, death!… Second let’s gather our group of victims… let see… last year we used a black girl as a minority token, so this time we are going to use an asian guy… because we are so cool and trendy we are going to make him die third, cause our audience will expect him to die first… third we need a cool twist, like the last person kept alive is the sibling of someone who was murdered 5 movies ago… the fans will be pleased and the twist will show how cool our movies are… lastly we will need a punchy gore tagline in the likes of: “A gallon of blood a day, keeps the Jiggsaw killer away…”

There we go we have Saw VII all written… we just need to find some unknown former film school graduates, actors that have never acted before and voila, we are all set for doing fastfood Cinema…

Yes in case you haven’t got the message…. I hate the Saw movies with a passion!!!

First I’d like to say that I would seperate the first Saw from the others… It was quite smart and witty, and if wasn’t ruined by Carry Elwes attrocious performance, I would have probably thought that it was quite a good mvoie…. Unfortunately, for me when Carry Elwes has just done sawing his leg and answer his cell phone, it just totally made me break my voluntary suspension of disbelief, and made me crack a laugh… probably one of the worst acting performance I have seen…

Now let’s talk about the other movies… I like gore movies with a story, I hate gore movies which are just about gore… From Hostel to Saw, just stupid movies with no sense that use gore as shock value to be trendy… well, if you wanna see a snuff movie… why don’t you go look to by one on ebay or craigslist??? at least they will be real… going to see Hostel or Saw is just for sissies too scared of looking for the real deal… When I hear Saw is a guy movie… it makes me want to vomit… The closest movie genre to Saw is the chick flick… it’s predictable, and is for people who dream they could be in the shoes of the main character, which since Saw two is Jiggsaw…

I am so thrilled Paranormal Activity, an excellent flick, recommended by both Peter and myself, is wooping the latest Saw outing at the box office… Terror doesn’t need gore…

If we were to look into it deeper, one might consider the idea that using one platform (i.e. toys) with another platform (i.e. the internet) is preposterous and insane. However, corporate companies have capitalized on this and it is hard to ignore. No longer are we bombarded by the one piece cinema that stands alone. Instead we have franchises like Spiderman, Star Wars and Harry Potter… selling and creating mythic worlds alike for people to escape in and become the avatars that they want to be.

Does life imitate art? Has our populace gotten to the point where we live in a world like the Bruce Willis movie Surrogates? How has the cinema culture gone from creative pieces that are built to make people think and act into a fast paced world of violence, sex and bourgeoisie attitudes? It’s simple, some people are idiots. Like the movie Clerks. “People generally don’t go in seeking something for themselves…” But really does seeking out pointless brainless material generate the type of society that we want to live in.

A great example of this fanfare is with the movie “A Couple’s Retreat.” Now I have no idea what the movie is about and I don’t really care to. Instead I read reviews on it and almost all of them unanimously said that it was a bad movie. They also say that is the same storyline that has been regurgitated over and over and over again. Is this good for the conscience?

Because of these attitudes, I began to ponder why a movie like “A Couple’s Retreat” might be number one at the box office. The idea is simple: market the movie like crazy, put in a few actors who people know because they are on the cover of People magazine, and put it in several multiplex theaters for people to go see.

As for the fanboy franchises: Create a world where people can relate to one another, and make the viewer watch the most basic storyline over and over and over again. (i.e. Christopher Vogler’s “The Hero’s Journey.”)

Now don’t get me wrong, some studios do put out great movies and sometimes there are movies that break out of the studio system that actually do receive a lot of fanfare. However, for the extreme escapist (it seems to be getting larger these days with the franchises), the world of apathy can be a terrible thing.

Therefore, seek out the movies that you know will provide great entertainment and push the boundary of your conscience, humor and the boundary of cinema.  And if you don’t know what to look for, leave it up to the smart viewer to seek out the good things.

So I guess my last suggestion to the audience is do not give the advertisement or studio companies any will to produce one terrible movie over after another. And lastly, franchises be damned because we don’t need anymore fanboys or fangirls creating spin off musical bands, college events, and fandom websites…

Sounding off for my first rant, and I hope you people enjoy it!